"it’s like freud always said," says the ‘psychologist’ character in the movie, making everyone in the audience who knows anything at all about psychology flinch involuntarily
What other duty would you have me do my lord?
- God, you must’ve been the worst fourth grader ever.
- Joke’s on you. I skipped the fourth grade.
i love grass, do u kno what im saying?
Sakura Kinomoto + Transformation
resquest by unspark
I don't think demisexuality shames people who casually like sex at all. Tbh that doesn't make much sense- It doesn't make them special it just makes them feel more secure about themselves. If someone feels offended by demisexuality then they got some issues to deal with??? That's like saying asexuals shame those who have sex. That's not what it's about-
I am not offended by demisexuality but I do feel that it sex shames. Here is a good quote on the reasons I believe this. Better phrased than I could.
"The intention may not be to slut shame, and I don;t think people really intend that anyway, they’d just rather try to claim they’re not straight even if their attractions go towards the opposite sex. Still, in the end it does. Why? Because it parses sexuality in a way that needs not be parsed just to seperate people from ~sexuals.
Sexual attraction varies for many people, and that’s ok. However, making a whole identity out of your more restricted attractions is like saying, “I’m not like those people.” It parses something that ultimately does not need to be parsed. If you don’t want to have sex with someone until you have an emotional bond, that’s ok. It’s also pretty fucking normal.”
My main issues though were the other ones I listed though.
As I said, I do not believe demisexuality is legitimate mainly because it’s a common and supported way of dealing with sexuality and sensuality. Not wishing to have sex until you are emotionally invested in a person is not a sexuality in and of itself, it is a way of dealing with sexuality. Naming something for the sake of it does not make it a thing.
Asexuals do not shame those who have sex simply by existing, the concept is not sex shamey. Asexuality is common in other animals, it’s a recognized sexuality with factual and scientific basis behind it.
Okay this is four hundred kinds of bullshit.
For one, “I feel this identity sex-shames” is so extremely flimsy and probably the oldest, most tired excuse used against any asexual identity. If your quote was actually from a demisexual person about demisexuality instead of being just yet another armchair-theorizer talking about their opinion about it, I’d take it a lot more seriously. Even then, demisexuality is under constant attack from people who like to make fun of gender/sexual identities and nearly every time I have seen a link to a supposed quote from a demisexual person that sex-shames, it’s a long-disproven troll blog run by someone who (*drumroll*) is trying to delegitimize demisexuality. There was a rash of that in the SWTOR fandom a while ago and I’m not going to let it slide here any more than I did there.
First of all, your definition of demisexuality is (like most people’s I’ve seen try to attack it) completely wrong. If you’d actually, you know, listen to demisexual people’s experiences instead of armchair-theorizing what they must think and what life must be like for them, you’d understand that the majority of their experiences aligns with asexuality. The issues that affect us “100% asexual people” largely harm them too, with extremely few exceptions.
Hell, you even have the definition of asexuality completely wrong. Celibacy is the choice not to have sex with someone. Likewise, “demisexuality” is not the choice to not have sex with someone until you’re emotionally attached, as you’re framing it to be and as you’re claiming is supported by society. Demisexuality is not some fancy word for purity culture. It is a description of a pattern of attraction, and it’s a pattern that aligns far more closely with asexuality than it does with allosexuality (or, as you put it, “being normal”). In fact, most demisexual people I know or have read the works of identified as asexual for a period of time, but have that one time they might have probably felt attraction so modified it—does that mean that suddenly they’re part of mainstream society, and that all acephobic attitudes harming them all the while suddenly have no effect?
In addition, a significant portion of demisexual people also identify as sex-repulsed and are often celibate, which also throws your “only has sex when they like the person” definition out the window. Many demisexual people don’t have sex and don’t want to have sex with anyone. Attraction =/= acting on it.
"But the origin of the term!" As if people who identify as asexual don’t hear "BUT THE SCIENTIFIC DEFINITION!! YOU ARE A PLANT" every other day? Not to mention "gay" originally meaning "happy and carefree" and "straight" meaning "not crooked"? Lots of identity labels don’t revolve around the word etymology at all and this is the flimsiest excuse in the book. If you came across an actual demisexual person identifying as “not like other sluts,” then yes, you can say they’re sex-shaming. Not to mention the roleplay demiphobic people keep mentioning is not how the idea of demisexuality entered common usage in the first place.
Also if you knew anything about demisexual people you’d know that they’re constantly being attacked on all sides, and there is absolutely no benefit to being separated out. No one gets any special favors for identifying as demisexual; it effectively paints a giant target on your forehead. The “you just want to be a special snowflake” accusation against any and every non-straight identity makes no sense and never will make sense. It’s just an excuse people use to try to dismiss something they don’t want to take seriously, and this is no exception.
Finally, sexual identities are inherently amoral. If someone wanted to separate themselves from those who can be attracted to people without any emotional connection, that’s called purity culture. And as someone who grew up in purity culture, I can say with disgusted confidence that anyone who tries to equate the two doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.
And no, saying that you accept “100% asexuals” like me as legitimate doesn’t earn you any brownie points when you’re using basically the exact same arguments that are used to delegitimize asexuality as a whole.
(“Asexuality is common in other animals” jesus fucking christ if your basis for whether a sexuality is legitimate or not revolves around whether scientists have observed that behavior in animals I don’t even know what to say to you.)
Also, for people who actually want to learn about demisexuality from demisexual people instead of just running off of internet straw men, have a linkspam of resources and articles.
|| commissions ! ||
yo everyone due to some tight $$$ issues i’m going to be doing some $25 portrait commissions (like these here) for the forseeable future. they’ll be in full color + will include specific clothes/accessories if you ask.
these are! generally really fun to do when it comes to race headcanons for characters btw (winks @ you all) though i do have to say if you commission a character of color and ask me to make them white that’s not gonna fly, bud.
i’m going to make an official commissions post eventually and will very soon also open up commissions for a larger variety of pieces.
- if you need a commission done by a certain time please let me know! my time is going to be a little tight for a few weeks but i’ll make sure to do my best.
- if you really really want something aside from portraits at the moment also, please tell me. we can work out details and prices together if i’m able to.
paypal and contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
also feel free to contact me through here if that’s more comfortable for you.